GROOOOOOSSSSS. like boogers. only worse.

but if a movie's main appeal seems to be watching the girl from 7th heaven's midsection and ass parade around and run screaming from the ugly skin diseased boy then right on, movie, you have done your job and done it well. wear that shitty mtv movie award for best bellybutton with PRIDE.

i liked the hicks nature of the texan family who we "met" in this movie. they were brilliantly rendered. i've never seen the original, so i can't say how they compared. were they as good? i really liked them.

i think i was less scared of this movie than i should have been due to the fact that i had just watched eliza dushku in wrong turn get chased around by inbred freaks in west virginia. that movie was so sick. i was shuddering in disgusted horror for the whole latter half of it. i mean, inbreeding is just not a pretty sight. especially when they get all violent and hoot like monkeys. i'm sorry, i digressed into reviewing another movie there. texas chainsaw massacre, yes, not that good. not that scary. pretty stomach. the end.

my mom just kept complaining about how this movie is nothing like the book. never having read the book i have no opinion on that. it had a cute kitten, pretty italian countryside, and some good supporting character parts (her gay best friend pattie and the polish guy named pawel). it wasn't great or anything and the woman's mid-life depression was both depressing and irritating, but for a movie i saw for free i'm not going to complain. well except for the ending which was contrived and stupid. i could complain about that. plus the platitudes and the culture stereotypes. and the fellini references. heh. and i'm not a huge diane lane fan. neither do i have anything against her though. she does have nice cheekbones. this movie is relatively unremarkable in the end though. it's not bad. it's not great. it's kind of useless.

for a coen brother film this movie was a let-down. george clooney plays the same character he always plays. only in this one instead of being obsessive about his hair as he was in o brother he was constantly messing with his teeth. kim told me that they were trying to copy some old-style movies and yeah, ok they sort of were, but (and this is the crucial but) they kind of updated too much and as an homage it wasn't all that compelling.

this movie was ok, but no gem.

in case anyone was considering whether or not to see this movie and remained undecided, let me clear up your dilemna. get your ass in gear and go see it. holy fuck it is amazing. the cinematography, the fight scenes, the acting, the variety of film styles used, the music, oh man. it is unbelievable. it is so good. i can't even talk about it. all i can do is recommend the seeing of it and the railing over the fact that volume 2 doesn't come out till february.

things which were amazing:
the animation sequence (particularly "whimper")
the fight between the bride and the yakuza (the blood! the switch to b/w!)
lucy liu
uma thurman
the beginning
the cliffhangy end
the editing
the obvious planning and forethought which went into each section/chapter

jack black rocks. ok, this movie is beyond childish but it's really quite good. i mean, sure jack black's character 'dewey finn' is a bit of an ass, but the kids are so fucking adorable. and the whole concept is so great. plus it's rocking.

story: jb gets kicked out of his band and has no money while his roommate, a substitute teacher, is demanding the rent. he takes a call for said roomie and pretends to be him to get a subbing job at a prestigious private school. there he finds out the kids are all classically trained on various instruments and he sets up the classroom to teach them about rock n roll. in order to get back at his bandmates who kicked him out he enters himself and the kids in the "battle of the bands" contest. blah blah blobbity blah

so many moments in this movie are just pure funny. i was giggling pretty much the whole time. admittedly, not many people that i know would appreciate this movie, but it is basically appealing to all ages and keeps jack black within circumscribed limits so that it can remain good wholesome fun.

the best part about this movie is definitely the kids. they are amazing. and soooo funny. there's one, who jack black calls 'fancy pants', who is the token gay kid. he is fucking sweet. he gets to be the band's 'stylist', although no one agrees with his flashy glitter rock style. he also calls jack black 'tacky', which was a wonderful moment for all concerned. then there's the lead guitarist who is incredibly talented and also very silly when learning how to properly make facial expressions while strumming. summer, the band's manager, is this anal retentive little girl who is completely bossy but still adorable and has the brilliant idea which gets them into the 'battle of the bands' (they all pretend to be terminally ill). freddy, the drummer, even lies down on the ground because that is how dedicated he is to faking illness, and boy howdy is he ever serious about being punk. the singers have lovely voices, the groupies tart themselves up nicely and take 'adoring the band' very seriously.

with so many people in the movie and all the kids being together with jack black in almost every scene, it was hard for things to be distinguished. but the director gives you time to take in everything that is going on in the foreground, background, left, right. which is good. since it gives one time to fully appreciate what everyone is doing while taking it all in as a whole. there's usually little absurd things going on in pockets which are great fun to catch.

joan cusack as the principal is an inspired choice. jack black is greatly asinine. and the kids steal the show. plus their song is catchy.