fyi for anyone who cares (me. erica. nuala. kristen. jolie.)
New Buffy episodes all February long!
Tuesday, February 4, 8PM ET/PT:
"The Killer in Me"
When Willow starts to give in to romantic feelings for Kennedy, (eeeee!) her guilty conscience causes her to turn into Warren, Tara's killer. (oooo....) Also, the gang gets clues that lead them to believe Giles may be The First, (see! i bet he did get killed!) and Buffy helps Spike with what seems to be his malfunctioning chip, ultimately leaving Buffy with a shocking choice.
Tuesday, February 11, 8PM ET/PT:
"First Date"
Buffy goes on a date with Principal Wood, (ahhhh!!! dating the black man! who called it?!) while Xander goes on date with an enigmatic woman. Multi-Grammy nominee Ashanti guest stars.
honestly. i would never call myself a fan of the mid-west expose on lower middle class america. in, let me stress it again, the MID-WEST. doldrums are boring. motor homes are passe. i think you get my point. however, other than the typically slow pace and close revelations of what it means to be retired, middle class, white american male, the movie has some stunning good points.
1) kathy bates. naked. in a hot tub. i am giving that secret away right here and now. you have not LIVED till you see an old, unattractive, sagging boobs actress bare it all for the camera. right there in front of you. larger than life. and with the potential of water buoyancy. i was aghast. but in a good way. a way that screamed internally, "right on, sista!" fight back against the anemic naked models. fuck 'em anyway.
2) ndugu. the first letter-sheer brilliance. the second letter-still good. the third letter-wearing a trifle thin. the fourth letter-shit, give it a rest already, willya? see, jack nicholson's character adopts this african boy named ndugu, who draws him pictures and benefits from the $22 a month or whatever it is. and in return schmidt writes him these horrific letters detailing all his petty and personal miseries. hates his wife. hates his daughter's fiancee. loves his daughter. still a part of his job (lie). his wife died. he's going to stop the wedding. he "found" himself. and so on. and then because of this letter he gets from the sister of mercy on behalf of ndugu, his life suddenly acquires meaning. even though all along he has been nothing more than a poor sap who can't even make a fucking sandwich for himself or do his laundry. and who tried to ruin his daughter's only happiness. and never appreciated his wife. right. but $22/month makes his life have meaning because SOMEONE is going to remember him when he dies. and that someone is an african kid with lice and plentiful diseases on the other side of the globe who probably doesn't even read the letters or know anything about it. riiiiiiight. perhaps my common sense and bitter cynicism is cutting a little too deeply into the awe-inspiring life changing moment they were trying to convey. but no no i think really they were trying to be ironic themselves but failed miserably.
3) the high point of this movie is in the details. little things. like how schmidt always sleeps with one leg outside the covers, trapping them down on top of the other leg. and how his coat sleeves were always too big for him, making him look continually awkward and childish in his own clothing. the speech patterns of dermot mulroney as the daughter's fiancee. and his ponytail. oh lordy. plus schmidt's walk. feet pointed outwards and slightly to the side. verra verra slowly. with the equally too big pants.
i don't think i really recommend this movie. unless, like jason who i saw it with, you LIKE mid-west irony-dramas. in which case--wholewhearted approval of you seeing this movie is what i've got. but if you're more like me...eh....see ummm...maybe some mary kate and ashley olsen action. shut up! it's a sickness!
"Singing sensation Charlotte Church has landed her first film role - loosely based on actress Liv Tyler's teenage life.
The Welsh diva, 16, will star in a comedy musical The Family Business, where a musically talented girl discovers her real father is a has-been eighties pop star.
Comedian Craig Ferguson who will play Church's father in the movie, says he wrote it with the Voice of an Angel songstress in mind.
The plot is said to be loosely based on the real-life story of the stunning Lord of the Rings star - who discovered her father was Aerosmith frontman Steve Tyler, after being brought up to believe it was rocker Todd Rungren."
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...........i don't think this can be as "good" as mandy (ass)moore's trip to movieland in "a walk to remember."
"Buffy Faces Axe
Press Association
TV bosses plan to kill off cult show Buffy the Vampire Slayer following lacklustre ratings.
American station CBS says the long-running series, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, is not expected to return for an eighth run.
"I wouldn't bet that it comes back," network chief Leslie Moonves told the Hollywood Reporter.
Gellar, who is married to her Scooby-Doo co-star Freddie Prinze Jr, is said to want to concentrate on her film career.
But Mr Moonves said the 25-year-old actress still "hasn't said no" to reprising her role as the vampire killer.
There may also be a spin-off series featuring some of the other Buffy characters, he said."
another spin off? holy shit don't do this to us, joss whedon you two-timing bastard. and kill off dawn! argh!
"Angel Star Pregnant
World Entertainment News Network
Charisma Carpenter is to have a baby - and her on-screen character will follow suit.
The Angel actress is due to give birth in March, though she kept the secret - and her shot gun wedding to Damien Hardy - from television bosses. Now they have been forced to re-write the script, incorporating a naughty night of nookie for Cordelia with Angel's teenage son Connor.
She says, "I am due to film on through March but I don't know if I will be able to... my waters might break on set! So far they have been camouflaging my condition by putting me in long coats."
you've got to be shitting me. that's the reason for the shit they pulled last episode? these people. dude, they are fucking with my will to continue watching.
this movie is so great! i mean really great. let me list the two top contending reasons as to why it's so great so you can understand (maybe)
i had NO idea it was three hours long.
and
ellie almost wet herself she was so excited.
and now let me explain.
i didn't know going in it was three hours long. i sat thru the whole thing and at no point was i either bored or uninterested. it was only when it was over and i was leaving and ellie asked what time it was that i noticed three fucking hours had gone by. that's amazing in my opinion. i mean, 3 hours is a damn long time really to have been so captivated by one movie. which means that the story is incredible, the acting is good (well daniel day-lewis, admittedly is better than just "good." he's stupendous), and the cinematography is compelling.
as to ellie leaking a little pee. near the end of the movie there's this part where...someone...uh has a piece of shrapnel in them and pulls it out and the blood just goes WHOOSH onto the other person's face and chest. and it was a little shocking and ellie went, "whoa!" pretty loudly in the semi-filled theatre, at which point everyone in the audience who didn't already want to kill us for giggling at inappropriate tension release times, really wanted to lynch us. and she was so embarressed about having been loud that she couldn't stop snickering, besides the fact that the blood thing was pretty funny (though realistic i'll grant you that, mr. scorcese). anyway so it was great and good to watch and fun at the same time.
afterwards talking about it in the borders parking lot we were having to lean against walls we were laughing so hard and some 2.5 pocket linters started interrogating us about what was so funny. which was hella funny in itself and set us off again in fresh gales.
all in all a memorable evening at the theatres. plus being a truly great, semi-historically fudged epic film with the heros and the bloodshed and the triumphing and the moral uncertainity and the girl.
I just wrote this huge thing for this movie and now its fucking lost it. argh!
so. dangerous lives of alter boys. i was expecting it to be bad, because marina said it was awful. but it's actually quite good. and even though they don't exactly follow the book, they hold true to the spirit of it and with the added inclusion of animated scenes by todd mcfarlane (blade/spawn guy), it's actually rather impressive. and kieren culkin who i had written off as a shit child actor culkin can actually act. and do it well. and i found myself *liking* him. amazing. wonders. never ceasing. you get the picture.
for those of you who have not read the book/seen the movie. short plot with differences highlighted:
the movie follows the lives of 4 (5 in the book) catholic school boys (i'd say 10th grade maybe?) who are aspiring comic bok artists. and they make the comic which has lots of despicable things being done to the nun teachers, as well as lots of naked pretty girls. and themselves in their alter ego superhero characters (brakken, the muscle, major screw, and ass kicker.) 2 of the boys are really kind of superflous, as the story mainly centers aroung francis and tim. francis is in love with margie flynn. and tim kind of seems to be occasionally in love with francis. but anyway, it's about them growing up and pulling crazy pranks, and drinking, and having rather horrible home lives (francis' is much worse in the book as his father is constantly beating him. but tim's is bad only in the movie as his parents are constantly screaming at one another. and he's a very troubled teen because of it--which was true anyway, but mostly because of his over-educated status, the son of a university history professor who doesn't seem to believe in god. but does believe in william blake.) they are mainly tyrannized over by sister assumpta, (played by jodie foster) who has a prosthetic leg. so they decide to capture this mountain lion from the wild animal habitat and release it in school to scare peg-leg and to get out of classes. in the meantime, shit is hitting the fan between francis and tim because of the girlfriend of francis and because of tim's home life and whatnot. and we learn some disturbing things about margie and her brother. but the boys all come back together and go to get the cougar and during the rather ill-planned capture tim gets savaged by a second one and dies. and that's the end of the book and the movie.
the truly inspired thing, in my opinion, was the animated sequences featuring the boy's alter egos trying to rescue the kingdom of sorcerella (voiced by margie) from the evil peg leg. the action in the live and animated versions mesh perfectly and the interspersed animation provides a poignant counterpart to what is going on in the "real" lives of the boys. plus, as i said, the artwork is pretty damn great.
this movie is out on video now and i highly recommend the rental of it.
the book is by chriss fuhrman, and can be found here at amazon.
going on the fact that most of you probably have no idea what the hell this movie is about, i am first going to give a short plot synopsis. and then some pictures. and then a very short review involving a lot of laughing.
there's this black kid (nick cannon) who plays the snare drum and he's good but doesn't follow orders well. he gets a full ride to some college. where he plays the drum well but doesn't follow orders. then it comes out that he can't read sheet music and he gets kicked off the marching band. orlando jones has a lot to say about "musicianship." the girlfriend (zoe saldana) seems to see something in the kid that i really didn't. then thru hard work and the help of the guy who ratted him out and some tapes from his estranged father, he writes some damn fine music and practices writing music and then gets back on orlando's good side, though not back in the band. and they play his music at the annual hug marching band competition and then there's a drumline showdown which he does get to play in. and that's the end.
soooooo much time watching marching bands. so confused as to why pretty girl is interested in cocky, younger, smarmy guy. but some of the music is good. and basically if you can suspend your awareness that you're watching a movie about marching band tribulations with some poor acting and horrible writing which harps on "musicianship" it's pretty entertaining. also as a culture facet it's fantastic. who knew people were so into marching while playing instruments? who knew they had drumline showdowns? who knew there were sexy dance routines that went along with the music? mostly though it was amusing that i watched this and like mike with marina while she was here and i had watched how high another time i was with her last, and we think it's now a trend that we have to watch at least one really bad black comedy when we get together.
ha! little bow wow! ah shit dood. i think this is worth watching just for the commentary featuring the director, "bow", and jonathan lipsinisskkkiiiwheee.
otherwise, it's just Bad. not even good bad really.
lot of kids who can't really act. lots of pro basketball players who can't really act.
cheesy ending. SUPER cheesy with the added addition of 2 for 1 special orphan adoption.
bad writing. stupid direction. no interesting filming techniques. too much basketball games.
why did i watch this? why not i say. and also i blame it on marina. though...it was admittedly me who said, "let's see like mike! hwee!" and her that said, "ah man."
these two movies were practically the same movie which is why they are getting the same entry.
1) both set in manhattan
2) both with a really rich guy and a (relatively) poor woman
3) both women with "causes"
4) both movies featuring norah jones music (though two weeks notice actually had her cameoing)
5) both cheesy romances with really no redeeming qualities.
honestly i liked main in manhattan slightly more. it actually had more of a plot. sad, huh? and i don't even really like jlo whereas i do like sandra bullock. heh.
so these movies primarily sucked based on the fact that they were kind of degrading to women. though 2 weeks was also not very shining the light positive on men either when the example was just hugh grant's character (and his driver was pretty shitty too. being all with the speech about knowing how to work the women but then revealing that he still lived at home and was under his momma's thumb). maid was a little better since jlo's portrayal of a single mother was actually pretty good and her ability to cut ralph fiennes down on some racial issues was well delivered. and she had a job and was getting a promotion and kept and expanded the job even after marrying the rich guy so that was a little bit better at showing a positive role model i guess. 2 weeks on the other hand, even though bullock's character went to harvard law, she constantly needed saving. there's this one scene where she has to go to the bathroom (it's dumb, disgusting, and unnecessary) and he carries her to this mobile home (they're on the freeway) and convinces its occupants to let her use it. and then they lose thier car and he has to call for a helicopter to come pick them up.
the one thing i did like about 2 weeks (and this totally just makes me a romantic) was this one scene where they're in a restaurant and first hugh grant spoons all the ice out of his water and into her cup, then she takes all the wierd crunchy stuff off the top of his salad and puts it on hers and he takes all the radishes off her salad and puts them on his. they do all of this without even thinking about it. it's just something that has become ingrained because of how close they have become and it's adorable. and it's perfect. the timing is right on. and at the end her going, "radish! radish!" cause there's one left on the plate and him removing it for her is just so cute. oh man.
the one last thing that is the same about the movies is that it's the man who has to change for the woman. at the end of both, the men have screwed up thier chances for love (ralph fiennes for not accepting the maid when it's revealed that she isn't some high class society dame and hugh grant for going back on a promise not to destroy this landmark building) and the men have to find the woman again and grovel and be re-accepted. which....is all well and good i guess. except for how it's so unlikely and also so trite. what, it's always that the woman has some convictions or something and the man has to alter his perception of things to fall in line? or it just doesn't really show either party to be realistic or well-adjusted. why doesn't the guy just find some woman who hasn't lied to him about their status in society or some other woman who isn't so quirky and demanding? why don't the women find men who automatically accept them no matter what or who don't back out of promises or forget about trust?
romantic comedy, yes. fun, yes. good morals? noooooooo.
rentals. both of them. really.