the rock, seann william scott, and christopher walken. which of these does not belong? sadly in the rundown all of the above applied. even though i hate walken because he scares me i have to admit he is in a whole other league in terms of cinematic appeal than a wrestler and the walking shit eater grin. crap i am all talk. i totally find the rock appealing. it's the way he kicks ass. and sws besides being mentally retarded (that actually casts an aspersion on retarded people which is totally unfair) somehow scrapes under my irritation radar and makes a comfy home in my heart. damn him. i am weak.

this movie is not so bad. it's not so good either though. the rock is a "retrieval specialist", or bounty hunter, who is sent to get SWS from the brazillian forest. he is sent by sws's father who is mob-like and mad at him. the rock is confronted with the despotic ruler of some corner of the forest in the person of walken who doesn't want to let SWS go before he finds this fun ancient artifact crafted entirely out of gold. goooollllllddd. there's then a romp thru the jungle with meetings of monkeys and small rebel armies. since this is brazil, they have the nation's dance fighting craze utilized to brilliant effect. they're like spinny devils of pain! i wish i could do that.

fave line (delivered by the rock): are you threatening me with pee?

pee is a wonderful thing to make light of in my book.

walken also does this humorous turn where he tries to explain the tooth fairy to some non-english speakers/silly american tradition cultural wastelands.

note: this is the terrible movie i went to see for post-rejection release. i don't know what i was thinking. luckily i then snuck in to see once upon a time in mexico for a johnny depp fix.