i went for the jackie chan. i stayed for the jackie chan.

it is AMAZING how much wire work they do in this movie. you think to yourself, "oh, jackie chan, he does all his own stunts. and he is so cool!" but then it's all so obviously wires and sped up and i'm like, "shitttttt man." and feeling a little cheated.

plus....the MEDALLION? and claire forlani? what nationality is she anyway? (apparently she's british by birth.) her accent is always just a little bit different. although i still love her cat eyeballs. the goofy british guy though was dumb. john rhys-davies' part was sooooo tiny. and the bad guy was a pitiful toned down version of jeremy irons. the british guy's asian wife was good though. since she was sporting a secret just like him with his pretending to be a librarian instead of telling her he's an interpol agent.

somewhere sammo hung was involved in this movie. sammo hung. well. well well well. sometimes he is good. and sometimes he makes cheese. ah-ha. i just looked it up and he was the action choreographer. which makes a lot of sense as to why this was so wire-fu based and cheesy.

on the plus side, nicolas tse and edison chen had tiny cameos as waiters. and they weren't listed as being in it, prob due to their very small roles, but this is me and upon sight of tse i immediately go gooey. i had to restrain myself from screaming at the surprise. i managed only to tell my mom that the waiter handing jackie chan his bill was nicolas tse and a pop star to which she replied, 'he's cute' to which i said, 'that is why i know his name.' and i say to you, also why i own several of his movies. oh man. goo. they have been in a couple of other movies jackie chan produced in china though which is why i'm assuming he's giving them a tiny chance at breaking into the american movie business where they could make a shitload more movies/money. see, jackie chan is cool AND nice.

this movie though was silly. my mom read some review about how the fight scenes were like "poetry." i don't know who could say that with a straight face. some of the fights were good. but the special effects and the music they used and sound effects made them a little too cheesy for me. damn you, sammo hung. but still, it wasn't BAD by any stretch of the imagination. the kid who plays the chosen one who can use the medallion was good. and jackie chan and claire forlani were good although how anyone could be expected to accept them as a couple. i just don't know. although the jackie chan naked scene certainly helped me along in reconciling it. anyway, i did enjoy it.

and finally: a picture of nicholas tse (so you can see what i'm drooling over.)

le divorce: a side of paris i've never seen. pretty streets and pretty houses and all nice people. mostly. if only kate hudson hadn't had SUCH a terrible hairdo the vast majority of the movie this would have been much better. but it was well-acted though at times a semi-boring plot. maybe the book is better but i am skeptical. stockard channing was good. most of the males were bad.

american wedding: ugh. disgusting. alison hannigan and jason biggs aside this movie was terrible. not even directed by the original guys and with stifler being more of an ass than ever before this movie was a travesty.

s.w.a.t.: who's cute here? oh i think it's colin farrell. explosions! guns! manly bravado! it's all good fun till someone gets run over by a train.

uptown girls: brittney murphy is hot. and this movie is actually quite touching with the whole father/daughter bonding stuff and the sweetness between murphy and the little girl played by dakota fanning. it's not great, but it is cute.

grind: oh terrible. oh horror. adam brody from the oc/gilmore girls was cute as ever but the rest was awful. the complete rip off of matthew mcconaghy's character from dazed and confused was well done but still stolen.

i capture the castle: bbc goodness. very sweet story of a girl-woman growing up in the "wilds" of england.

freaky friday: oh dear lord. even though i was dead set against this film i still enjoyed going to see it with my mom a thousand times over. i attempted throughout to slide down in my seat in shame with the greatest of enjoyment.

sinbad: not bad actually. for disney. for hurried disney. the backgrounds were horrificly done. the people were better. the point where sinbad told the shirtless black man in the frozen lands to clothe himself before he poked someone's eye out was pretty funny.