January 11, 2005
pixel perfect

Quite possibly my current most favorite movie of all time.

This movie was made by the Disney company and I am watching it right now on the Disney channel. Well, right this minute there's a stupid commercial about another movie they've made which is premiering next week or something. It's about a reality show to find a teenage magician. Damn stupid Disney channel. Iâm off topic.

Pixel Perfect is about this band who need an image makeover, so the best friend of the lead singer/guitar player creates a hologram rock star for them named Loretta. So basically it's that Simone movie except as a rock star instead of a movie star.

Then it's a love triangle between Samantha (the former lead singer), Loretta (the new lead singer aka the hologram), and ROSCOE. The boy. Roscoe gave Loretta Samantha's ears! Roscoe screens Samantha's phone calls! The pathos! The teenage stupidity!

And then it all becomes too much for the unreal Loretta. And she becomes a nihilistic hologram. It's brilliant! After a big fight with Roscoe, Loretta jumps onto the information super highway where she meets a black man in a hoover truck who tells her that pedestrians aren't allowed and then shoos away pop-up ads and makes disparaging remarks. She approaches some droids sorting email and they go all flashy red lights, 'Virus alert, virus alert', and she's chased away by pixilated German shepards. This section of the film is pretty much where I fell desperately, despairingly in love.

Ha ha ha! Roscoeâs explaining touch and kissing to her in terms of musical accompaniment. Sadly, her foolish dreams of being able to feel are dashed when they briefly sell Loretta to the music industry, but the heart-of-gold-former-rapper, De Fibb, is going to save the day. Which puts her back in the stupidest visual representation of the "information super highway", Iâve ever seen.

But the final show must goes on and Samantha (who has been practicing Lorettaâs dance moves in her bedroom) wears a wig and takes the stage. And falls off the stage. And loses the wig. And gets a concussion. The jig seems up. Much like the Irish dancer from an earlier audition montage the band did.

Commercials. Another ad for the magic movie. If you could do magic would you waste it on a reality show doing cheap party tricks? This seems inconceivable. Unlike holographic rock stars which I am totally prepared to get behind.

Loretta came back and is asking about the brain seismograph machine hooked up to Samantha. Oh, i can see where this is going. Samantha's brain looks a lot like Death Valley. And Samantha looks like a grunge, drug-addict. In order to fix this, Loretta "rewires some hardware" and fixes Samâs guitar so she can play and make grass grow and everything beautiful again.

"You get to be the dreamer, but Iâll always be the dream." says Loretta to Sam. AND THEN SHE TAKES OVER SAM'S BODY! that's not ok! Give back Sam! This is creepy. Ha ha, she got struck by lightening!

Why does Samantha look like a prettier version of amanda Bynes? Is Amanda Bynes the poor man's Leah Pipes?

End of this movie: Samantha gets the boy. I might actually manage to write Samantha without writing Samanthat. And Loretta is a holographic angel singing 2 part harmonies with Sam in the final, final concert.

End result of my love for this movie?: it is pure and strong and I am sending it out on the information super highway.

(get yourself the "music").
(some quotes and goofs).

Posted by michele at 09:58 PM