November 10, 2003
the matrix revolutions

initial reaction to the third and final installment of the matrix movie: the feelings of a small child who has stubbed her toe and dropped her ice cream. which translate to angry sobbing and crushing disappointment. i just walked into my brother's room as he is planning on seeing it tomorrow. and i just looked at him a while--in defeat knowing he would see it anyway and a sense of resentment for this 24 additional hours of purity he's still got left.

what happened to this trilogy? what happened? why didn't they just let it stop at the first one if this is what they're going to put us thru? when i saw the matrix for the very first time i walked into the parking lot a new girl. it completely rearranged my head and the way i thought. i loved it so much i didn't even have words. the second one came out and i was duly impressed, but not joyous. not overwhelmed. and now this. this which just makes me want to scream out, "WHY?! WHY?!" underwhelmed is a serious understatement. ("i know you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed. but can you ever just be whelmed?" you know it's bad when i'm quoting 10 things i hate about you rather than discuss it.)

what is good about this movie? almost nothing. the very end of neo and agent smith's fight i will give due credit to. well not their fighting so much as the whole clever deletion aspect. it's sad when the other good part about a movie is the machines. the only other thing which i thought was really good was the sentinels in the dock. they fucking stole this movie. which wasn't hard with such abysmal acting and writing to contend with. metal calamari with no vocal cords kind of had an unfair advantage in that respect.

what is bad about this movie? the fact that it was one long fight scene. the fact that the writing stank. the fact that trinity DIED. the fact that cool martial arts were seldom used and lots of metal machinery replaced it. the fact that zion people are irritating. the fact that they changed oracles. what happened to her? i'm sorry if she passed away.

uuuurrrrrgghhh anyway whatever. i'm going to stop thinking about it now. maybe i'll even try to see it again. i could like it better next time...i'm sure. it's just so hard to accept that the incredible innovation and creativity that went into the first one has lost so much lustre and become my dirty dropped ice cream cone.

this is my one-hundredth movie review on this page. none too shabby.

Posted by michele at November 10, 2003 08:38 PM

I'm with you on the dropped ice cream feeling, and Krista thought it was damn funny, the comment that is.

I enjoyed watching the movie at the time, but afterwards I was annoyed by:

1. The typical messiah things that happend. (ahem...he goes blind!)
2. The fact that they took this great concept and went really no where with it.
3. What was the point of the little girl. She was cute but ummm? Maybe I missed it.
4. Why did the frechman go all S&M all of a sudden? And why was he not in it more, however I loved his suit.
5. Everything seemed way too simple. You want peace? You got it?
6. The fans were more inventive with their matrix within a matrix and Agent Smith thoerized to be the one before Neo who was born into the maxtrix. Maybe they should have taken their plot cues from that.

Basically I'm with Michele. They could have done so much MORE. sigh. Bastards

Posted by: nuala on November 11, 2003 12:08 PM

a guy i know had a pretty good analysis when he said, "they basically gave up on the philosophy of the matrix and just filled the movie with as many trite things as possible. you think we should end on a sunset? yeah, let's end on a sunset."

Posted by: holohan on November 11, 2003 12:34 PM

and another thing. the whole climactic sequence of the second one was the architect scene, right? set up all those pressing questions for the third movie? and what happens? in the first fifteen minutes of revolutions the oracle says, "oh, don't listen to him. he doesn't know what he's talking about." indefensible.

Posted by: holohan on November 11, 2003 12:41 PM

PS. Michele the first oracle did die in real life

Posted by: nuala on November 11, 2003 05:19 PM

yeah. it was diabetes. i think instead of getting another matronly black woman they should have replaced her with, like, a huge samoan man or something.

Posted by: holohan on November 11, 2003 10:46 PM

My theory, which I will develop after a second viewing, is that Neo is a program in a human body. My reasons for believing this are boring, as was this film.

Posted by: didofoot on November 12, 2003 01:52 PM

Finally saw it. Incredibly boring. And, what's with every subsequent film in this series taking pains to negate whatever happened in the previous one? "Oh, yeah, that prophecy which the whole first film was based around? It's a lie. Hey, all that stuff the Architect said? He doesn't know shit either. Go into the source and destroy Zion, or save your girlfriend? Just kidding - you can do both!"

Other thoughts:

- How many scenes ended with someone saying "Dammit", "Goddammit", or "Shit"?
- The Kid = Jar Jar. Fine decision to have this minor, wholly-undeveloped character play a crucial role in the story, while Morpheus... um... helped Will Smith's wife navigate. Sort of. Or whatever he was doing on the ship.
- "Doing whatever it takes" to find out what Bane the saboteur knows = Leaving him alone with an unarmed doctor who, after half an hour, almost succeeds in giving an injection before being stabbed to death.
- Computer programs like Agent Smith are also prone to the Fallacy of the Talking Killer, where the villain, fully intending to kill the hero, talks too long, allowing the hero's friends to save him.
- His suit was cool and all, but why was the Merovingian back? So they could have an S&M orgy scene to counter Reloaded's neo-hippie rave orgy? To show that one girl's breasts for half a second?

At least when you drop your ice cream on the ground, you're not out $9.50 and 2 1/2 hours of your life that you will never, ever get back.

Posted by: sean on November 14, 2003 10:42 PM

as far as i'm concerned the first movie constitutes the entire matrix universe. i'm officially considering the second two to be unauthorized sequels directed by joel schumacher.

sean, you left out "i already know how this is going to come out, so the rest of me are just going to watch, you know, instead of the entire population of the world converging on you at once and finishing this in a few seconds."

Posted by: holohan on November 15, 2003 12:03 AM

ha! i only paid $5.25. and the way i go thru ice cream, that's really pretty cheap.

Posted by: michele on November 15, 2003 12:18 AM

i saw it for free. ANNNNNNNNND i got free nachos and wings afterwards.

Posted by: holohan on November 15, 2003 12:19 AM


The captain, seemingly taken from one of the McGarnigle films, there for the purpose of yelling, alternately, "Goddammit, it'll never work!" and "It'll never work, goddammit!" He even threaten to beat a confession out of a suspect! I half-expected him to demand Niobe's badge.

"You know what's changed in the last six hours?"

There's also a scene where Locke says, "That makes no sense", and it worked perfectly as a commentary on the film itself, I thought.


Posted by: sean on November 15, 2003 04:16 PM

I'm sorry for all of your suffering, but it may please you to know that some good has come out of the collective many hours you wasted watching this movie. I WILL NOT SEE THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS! Down with bad movies!

Posted by: cody on November 16, 2003 12:18 PM

I just saw The Matrix Revolutions in Cairo and was shocked to find how much everyone back home didn't like it. Here are links to two illuminating essays I found on the Web, one for Revolutions and one for Reloaded. I would be interested to know how people respond to them. Perhaps the Matrix Trilogy should be given another chance?

The Matrix Reloaded Essay
The Matrix Revolutions Essay

Posted by: djsmall on April 28, 2004 03:11 AM