May 05, 2003
the lizzie mcguire movie

commence scoffing. i can so see all of you going to yourselves, "oh no. did she really go to see that? shit no, say it ain't so. who would pay to watch a movie with hilary duff. i don't even know the name of that girl but because i am michele's interior self-projection monologue onto all her friends, i know the name because _I_ saw the movie. oh shit no, say it ain't so."

totally saw that movie. i said to myself, "self, cut out your jibber jabbering. so what that both nuala and erica, your only two hopes for company on this fool expedition, denied you. stridently. so what? don't let them get you down, self. let's go! hey ho!" and then i went to see it. not only that but due to my mother's desire to procrastinate doing her homework, i got her to go AND pay for it. sch-weet. she then got completely busted by a fifth grade BOY who she used to teach at hidden valley. color her mondo-embarressed. it was adorable. he came up all shy and was like, "hi mrs. G." and then ran away again. i laughed so hard i busted a gut. i then attempted to steal the plastic sticky ad for xmen 2 off the window. failure. defeat. sad.

but enough about me. this movie sucked ass. i can't even tell you. wait, yes i can. there was this little cartoon feature. interspersed at all the important moments. to highlight stupid lizzie mcguire's state of mind. it was awful.

second, you know how in the previews, the italian singer boy seems all great and hot stuff. THIS IS NOT SO. he is, in fact, a skeezy lying sleazebag. within 5 minutes of meeting him it is PATENTLY obvious that he is lying thru his teeth. but does lizzie mcguire notice this? oh nooooooooo. plus within 5 minutes of watching her best friend, gordon, you are clear on the fact that he is a stand up kind of fellow of the best sort and completely in love with her while being utterly adorable. for an 8th grader. a-hem.

everything ends up all right in the end, there's a concert. the bad boy gets his flat singing voice due. lizzie mcguire and the italian singing girl who looks exactly like her but with brown hair wow the crowds. the parents cheer along. even the little snake in the grass brother has an all right time. and then fireworks and she kisses the best friend. ONCE. NOT ENOUGH. and he says, HE SAYS, "thanks..." and she says, 'you're welcome." and michele the 24 year old gives up on pretending to be 8, stands up in the audience and demands some serious making out and slow fade on the two of them alone in bed. come ON people. kiddie porn, please. corn pone. sheesh.

the one highlight for me, (it's going to come back to the family guy, wait for it. wait for it), is that alex borstein who does a lot of the writing and a LOT of the female voices on family guy plays lizzie's mom. i enjoyed that.

03-CN-023-08.jpg
yes that is a large wheel of cheese.

my advice? don't see this movie. not that any of you were going to. as was made obvious when no one would go see it with me. =P

Posted by michele at May 05, 2003 10:17 AM
Comments

sorry i didn't go see that with you. wait, ok, i'm not sorry actually. sorry i'm not sorry... ahhh!!! i can't stop!!!! whoa! it's wacky fun just like with lizzie mcguire!

you would never guess that i'm dead ass tired right now, would you?

Posted by: erica on May 5, 2003 04:14 PM

my sister made me see it with her as punishment 4 seeing the Italian Job with my friends(Seth Green is the real napster!)lol.Seth green is hot.anyway......Isnt it the most evil thing.I mean the girl likes Aaron Carter some one help her!!!!!

Posted by: O.A on June 10, 2003 11:50 PM

that's messed up. no on should like aaron carter. seth green is a god! you'll never destroy the real napster!

"you know why he called it napster? because i was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me."

Posted by: michele on June 11, 2003 08:29 AM

Hi um liked the movie i really did! Um well it was good but not the best. I have a question to Hilary Duff um is it true that u quit because they're treating you horible? I don't need anyone eles to answer me.A lot of people say she is. It says on magizines, but my friend says that they don't always say the truth. But who do i belive? I will think about! I only want to here this from Hilary Duff.(Witch will never happened)

Posted by: karla on July 16, 2003 12:47 PM

What is ya'lls problem It was not hilarys fault she is so...cool and was just doing her job and if the things that were in this movie ya'll were griping about there would not be a movie!
ya'll are so rude if you don't like her just ignor her and let her be!
i think your just gelous!!!!!!!!!
if you were her you would probably do the movie and not evan care or see things like that!
you would just love the money and go back to cussing about people!

Posted by: Jackie on July 17, 2003 02:05 PM

i love when ranting people can't spell. or form a coherent sentence.

Posted by: jade on July 17, 2003 02:25 PM

hi everyone i really love lizzie mcguire and her movie they are the best. I really hope she bring out another movie. From georgia

Posted by: Georgia on July 21, 2003 07:01 PM

I think Hilary Duff is a talented young actress/singer but does act a little preppy. I think it was a HUGE! mistake to quit the Lizzie McGuire series/movies/sequels. She should stay with Lizzie McGuire not because of money, but because the fans want her to stay. She doesn't know how luky she is.

Posted by: T.C. on August 23, 2003 01:58 AM

Did Hilary Duff really quit cause I here she did but I heard they are going to make a whole lot of lizzie mcguire movie so whos going to play lizzie? And i dont think she should care about money 1: cause she gets paid anyway (a lot) and 2:she isn't even an adult she shouldnt be thinking of money she should be thinking of if the people enjoy her work I mean shes funny a good singer and famous why should she through away all of that? Is it worth it? besides whos gonna play Lizzie?

Posted by: ellen on August 28, 2003 07:29 PM

hilary if u r reading this, i just want to say i think u r the gratest, girl! u totally rocked ur way thru monicagate and stood by ur man, THA PREZIDENT, cuz u now how to keep it real girl! i am your biggest fan, good luck in new york, maybe we can meet some time!!!

Posted by: didofoot on August 29, 2003 12:24 PM

I think there should be a second Lizzie Mcguire movie where Lizzie and Gordo are boyfriend and girlfriend and they should hold each other and french kiss and go out all the time that would be a cool movie for the second lizzie Mcguire.

Posted by: Laura on September 3, 2003 05:48 PM

laura you are absolutely correct. i appreciate your comments on my page.

Posted by: michele on September 3, 2003 08:38 PM

Yes, Laura, but at the same time, eww... I'm not sure about that one. It would sort of be wrong.

Posted by: Potatoe on September 6, 2003 12:13 AM

I just tried to write a totally inappropriate comment, and found i couldn't do it. mishy, when did sushi movie reviews become a place for appropriateness? ugh. i am disgusted with myself. couldn't even get one strap-on joke out. sheesh.

Posted by: erica on September 6, 2003 08:44 PM

hillarie is the hottest girl i have ever seen in my life..................aside from carrie

Posted by: da man on October 10, 2003 11:57 PM

I'm sorry but tah little girl doesnt deserve being in movies she can't act for hit let alone sing !Someone needs to stop her before she becomes a producer

Posted by: Sara on October 12, 2003 12:38 AM

dear lizzie mcguire why dont you make a durty movie a bout your self or show off you body
just one time if you wont to be like britney spear

Posted by: nathan harper on January 21, 2004 10:36 AM

You people are absolutly dumb!

Posted by: Michelle on January 30, 2004 09:01 AM

HILARY DUFF IS NOT GOING TO READ THIS every ever ever !!!! hilary is stupid she shouldn`t of quit the show! opps shes becomin brittany......eww

Posted by: YOUR MOMMA on February 11, 2004 01:24 PM

How is it that this is the first time I’m discovering this treasure trove of inane, inappropriate discourse?

Erica – I’m fascinated by your urge to pull a strap-on joke out of this little scenario. Frankly, I’m pretty sure it’s why I love you.

Michele, the fact that you have provided this forum in the first place is definitely why I love you.

Clearly, you two are the gordons of my personal teen movie. Only with more making out. Oops, did I say that?

Posted by: Jolie on February 11, 2004 05:39 PM

If Hilary or anyone is reading this I just wanna say I am the biggest BIGGEST FAN!! of Hilary she is a great actress and singer I'm really mad that she's not on the show Lizzie Mcuire, I wish she was. I'm hearing totally different things and I'm confused!!!Did she quit the show or did Disney have 65 episode thingy!!!I hope, maybe (probably not)she could do another series and another movie!

Posted by: Nadiya on March 3, 2004 03:12 PM

Ugh, I hate Hilary Duff. I watched Making the Video for one of her songs, and I wanted to shoot her. Only I kept watching because frankly, there`s not exactly a plethora of quality English-language television shows over here.

Posted by: Melanie on March 3, 2004 03:41 PM

lizzie move is bril


i wached it da 1st time wiv me m8s

Posted by: lauren on March 23, 2004 01:36 PM

Go now, my child, and never type like that again. It's a crime against humanity. I think there are more things wrong with that post than there are words contained in it. Shit.

Posted by: dianna on March 23, 2004 09:08 PM

Actually, there are 13 words and I can find 13 grammatical errors. I'm kind of pleased by that.

Posted by: dianna on March 23, 2004 09:09 PM

i really like the british intonation of 'm8s' though.

Posted by: michele on March 23, 2004 10:08 PM

i love gordan he is stush and he is really fit i would like to meet him but that will never come true. i wathch lizzie every day it is on.And i dont like the girl who copyed off lizzies fashion.I would improve this by having no cartoon in this film.This is a really good film.
love gordo he is stush.

Posted by: gemma on March 28, 2004 10:01 AM

but gemma! you said *I* was stush!

Posted by: didofoot on March 29, 2004 12:56 PM

out of a boundless curiousity, i looked up "stush". please check it out.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stush&f=1

Posted by: michele on March 29, 2004 01:01 PM

i still don't understand how this word evolved. what possible melding or shortening of words could create "stush?"

Posted by: didofoot on March 29, 2004 01:59 PM

I thinks it's interesting that lauren actually wrote "wiv" me m8s instead of "with", for that was the first time I had ever seen this lower-class british colloquialism down as a written word. But clearly, using real words was not her hightest priority.

Also, I have never heard of the word stush. After reading the definitions ... I still don't know what it means.

Posted by: kati on March 29, 2004 06:12 PM

I have submitted my own definition of the word "stush" to urbandictionary.com, if anyone cares to check it out:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stush&f=1

It makes about as much sense as all the other definitions do, but now at least I know what *I* think it means.

Posted by: kati on March 29, 2004 08:24 PM

You're such a lexicographic tease, Nurse V.

Posted by: sean on March 29, 2004 10:04 PM

the first semi-logical definition out there. thank you kati.

Posted by: didofoot on March 30, 2004 10:42 AM

dear lizzie i really liked ur movie they r great anyway just wanted to tell u that and u r great keep it up sonia

Posted by: sonia on April 9, 2004 07:30 AM

i love that movie it is one of my all time favorites. I love Hilary duff

Posted by: hillary on May 19, 2004 02:46 PM

lizzie your movie is the best movie i ever saw in my life .Once i saw you singing i said that i really would like to she her in person because u were just great and i really like you your the best singer in the world and i hope that some day i will she you in person.

Posted by: jessica on July 16, 2004 11:47 AM

Stush is a jamaican term that means stuck up. Don't know the origin.

Posted by: Ella on September 15, 2004 01:27 PM

hoi waarom ben je gestopt met lizzy mcuire ?

Posted by: lisa on January 1, 2005 02:45 AM

lizzie mcguier iz the best thing ever so don't dis her i might be going to meet her on my birthday

Posted by: beth on March 24, 2005 08:41 AM

maybe you should learn to spell her name first. or perhaps come to the realization that she's not a real person.

Posted by: michele on March 30, 2005 10:11 AM

hey lizzie hoe are u anyway did u actaully liked your movie.
i meant be did you get use to it going to hollywood and is that girl true who is italian you know wat i mean all my life i was loooking for agirl who could just be my friend know one could actaully understand me tell u do hope u help my anyway hope u have a nice day.

thanx bye and by the way im 13 yearsold

Posted by: iman on April 6, 2005 06:22 AM

hi my names emma van brugge and I think the lizzie mcgirue movie is greaat I think it should come back out at the movies.

Posted by: emma on April 20, 2005 12:48 AM

Could You come to my birthday party on July 18 to sing your mew songs i live at ***(edited by website owner) Please Hilary Duff.

Posted by: Branly Bernard on April 21, 2005 03:58 PM

i lover you movie it was so fantastic Hillary Duff you are so beautiful i wanna be just like you!! i realy want to meet you soo much!

Posted by: Aileen on August 10, 2005 08:16 PM

hello Hilary Duff I really like your movies they are great.I have one question can I have your Email adress?

Posted by: ricky on August 19, 2005 12:36 PM

hi hilary duff i just wanted to ask you that will you give me your Email adress please because I really want to meet you.

Posted by: Ricky on August 19, 2005 12:52 PM

Hilary Duff can I have your Email Address because I really want to meet you and your movies are great they are my fvourite movies so plaese can I have your Email adress

Posted by: Sarper on August 20, 2005 10:57 AM

you are the best hilary so will you tell me where you will have your next show,how to get the tikits and last of all tell me you e-mail
you are the best singer in the whole word and that is comeing from my heart i love you from meza age if you have free time can you call me on 07796563143

Posted by: meza on December 28, 2005 01:29 PM

I love you hillary

Posted by: hussein on January 21, 2006 07:52 PM

I've managed to save up roughly $40680 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

Posted by: Courtney Gidts on February 9, 2006 09:56 AM

what?!

it really is the best comment string ever.

Posted by: michele on February 12, 2006 11:57 AM

Courtney, you're right to be wary of the market right now--it isn't as stable as some might think. But the only person who can really give you the answer you're looking for is Hillary Duff. Try to get her email address and she'll be happy to sort things out for you.

Posted by: jason on February 12, 2006 06:32 PM

I love the move. You should play it more often.

Posted by: Brittani on August 21, 2006 06:30 AM

it's a wicked movie love u hillay
no.1 fan

Posted by: zahra on October 2, 2006 07:46 AM
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